Children and Dreaming

Welcome. Lets awaken our dream world and connect with our families and others in this incredible way.

Remember we are always dreaming. Even if we cant recall them.

In this intro course my aim is to share some information about dreams with you, and begin to pay attention to and awaken your own dream world. And of course relate with your children through dreams.

Dreaming is extremely important on the physiological and psychological level, particularly as we move through experiences of growth, healing, transformation and change. This is especially so for children.

The act of dreaming has some kind of physiological and psychological balancing effect. We know that the dreaming is ALWAYS GOING ON and we’ll discuss this more later. But for now let us look at the kinds of dreams we have.

Dreaming - kids 1My understanding of the different types of dreams are.

Process dreams – are comprised of two types.

Subjective or symbolic, these are usually to do with changes happening within our own systems – personal to us. Like a transformational process for example.

and 2nd is Objective – which provides us with information external to us. Often things we are unable to pay attention to due to our personality structure, or sometimes because the information is painful.

Compensatory dreams

Is one that is trying to balance the psyche or is trying to balance our systems or push us towards growth, This life force that is at the very core of our being, And it connects us with our dreams. If we are unbalanced, identified with something to strongly we might become connected with the opposite of that through these balancing dream processes.

Pre cognative dreams

Sometimes known as DE ja vu- Synchronicity – Events in a causal way. I had a dream and then something happened. I had the dream because that happened. Two independent events. They are related in an a causal way.

Some kind of dream experience – a premonition dream. These dreams are also very important for our inner health and balance.

Soul or spirit dreams

These are the dreams we have that connect us with our higher selves or the higher levels of consciousness. Like an interface between these and our normal experience.

All of these types of dreams can and do interconnect , supporting us as we journey through our lives. The dream world is incredible.

So now we have some understanding of these different kinds of dreams lets look at what occurs with children.

From an early age children begin to develop their basic personality structure and a lot of this is built around the feedback they receive from the external environment. From parents, teachers, sports coaches, cousins and the experiences of relating with them. Now we do all come through with a kind of unique fingerprint or program that contains an outline or a kind of guideline of who we will become.

So I want to provide you with basic examples here so you can really understand this fully. This is an introductory course so Im sticking to the basic’s and keeping the focus on my understanding of what occurs through this process.

So lets start with Timmy. He’s 4 years old and has been home with Mum for the first 4 years of his life. He’s an only child and has had most of mums attention for this time. Mum has had plenty of time to play and is also a very active, outdoorsy type and Timmy has enjoyed running in nature, beach plays and being loud and boisterous. Often wrestling with Dad too this is the normal way of being.

So Timmy’s 5th birthday arrives and its time for him to attend preschool. He goes from spending hours running, jumping and yahooing to being expected to sit at a table in a classroom for hours. On top of this he’s expected to listen and follow instructions.

Now Timmy’s main or primary personality structure and experience has been pretty much the opposite of this. On an unconscious level Timmy wants to please his parents and do the right thing. So he does try and follow along. But a lot of the time he acts out. He doesn’t sit still, he talks loudly and often disobeys instructions.

The teachers begin to discipline Timmy in the usual school methods and even bring in Mum and Dad. Timmy get the message loud and clear and begins to conform t the rules and routines of school. Remember there is also this underlying culture where the emphasis is that children should be good and do what we ‘think’ is best.

Timmy’s life is going through a change in situation and his dreams become a part of this process. He begins to have scary dreams. He dreams a monster is chasing him and begins to become very frightened. Asking his parents to come into his room at night, to check under the bed and so forth.

What has occurred here is there has been a suppression of Timmy’s natural, outgoing, boisterous primary personality. It goes underground or is buried under the new structure that is forming in alignment with his new external environment. That is the routine of school and all of the things that go along with that.

But the suppression of this energy, emotion and this life force needs to go somewhere and so it appears in the dream world as his scary monster. It does so because he now has no real way of expressing it in his external life.

images (11)The monster does not conform to any rules or regulations. A monster does whatever it likes. It growls, and jumps, and yells, and basically expresses itself however and whenever it wants to through the dream world. Of course this is usually very upsetting to the child.

This is a very common dream experience for children, with scary animals, or robbers chasing them to kill them or hurt them.

These buried or suppressed aspects of the child’s personality hold the primal, instinctual, and natural energies, feelings and emotions that are no longer able to play out because of school routine, family changes or external circumstances.

Another example is a little girl named Sally. Sally is 7 and one afternoon after school she is playing in the playground with her friends. An older girl with a dominant personality comes along and starts to bully her. She gives Sally a shove, so Sally runs home and tells her mother.

She buries her aggression and anger because she has learnt in the past that expressing these results in being punished. That night Sally dreams about a scary snake – it is symbolizing her aggression, her ability to react and to stand up for herself. If this suppression continues she may dream of the snake the following night and so on. Her mother may tell her on a rational level that there is nothing to be afraid of, its just a dream, but in reality there is something there.

The more suppression a child experiences, the more the contents of the unconscious becomes sour or intense. Especially as the old natural ways of expression and reaction no longer become available. Because of rules, routine, etc. Everybody has this suppression to some degree and this does build up!

This suppression or burying also creates an imbalance in a child’s systems. Making it harder and harder to deal with emotions, energies and their responses. New personality aspects are created to cover and maintain this burying/ suppression of the natural emotional energies. Like rationality, dominating, and judgment. These new primary personality aspects also assist with covering feeling insecure or vulnerable.

This burying and suppression can also generate repetitive nightmares that can go on in a child’s life for many years. Suppression can also create an illness or different kinds of anxiety.

Knowing about our children’s dreams can give us information about our child’s psyche, or some other change or growth they are experiencing.

Another example is of the Soul or spirit dreams my son began having when he was 6. It was a recurring dream of the end of the world where a huge tidal wave wipes everything and everyone out. Pretty scary stuff!

After working with him we discovered that he was having a past life memory of his experience of ATLANTIS. As well as processing some other emotions and personality developments.

So I do hope Ive given you some more insight into the dream world. Here are some suggestions below for working with your child’s incredible dream world.

☃ See your own and your child’s dreams as a friend.

☃ Start to communicate about your dreams as a family – perhaps discuss dreams at the breakfast table and develop it into a family culture.

☃ Make anything that appears in the dream world ok! ‘Anything’!!!

☃ Begin to build a Vocabulary and imagery of your families own dream language.

☃ Start to question what your child’s dreams are telling you about their lives.

☃ Start to express the dreams through art.

☃ Build self awareness around your own suppression and inner rule system ( If you’d like to learn more about this I do offer individual sessions).

Also note that if you stop or stifle a dream process, like nightmares the dream world will usually stop communicating with us.

These are all excellent things to do to begin connecting and relating through the dream world. I’d love to hear your comments, questions or feedback!

Thank you so much for reading. Rhia ❤

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